Yin-Yang, a secret note,
Who is afraid of Virginia Wolf and the

Autumn of the Matriarch
a Tragedy about the demise of Isis
 

contemplation one
 Requiem for a powerful woman
contemplation2
 a shriveled note

Thus spoke Horus the son as he tearfully eyed the great and mighty Isis:

I saw her on her bed of flowers on a sunny afternoon

unwanted, forgotten, shriveled and shrunk

the flowers had grown thorns

I saw her ask

is this it?

I am old I am dying

I am cold I am crying

is this IT?

how can that be ?

all the sound and fury .. to this?

I saw her wrinkled

remembered her, glory

the unstoppable magic

forever young ..
 
that terrible strength was her weakness

her downfall

ever protected from the knowledge of mortality

by feigned immortality

and action

you can't get old

decades and generations

learnt from her,worshiped her, adored her and applauded

her mark indelible

the energy inexhaustible

you can't get old

hopeful, victorious, glorious

fighting

.. for right

with cruel certainty ..

you can't get old

you can't loose

zooming

booming

blooming

enjoying the short round

of winning

of winning the game of chess

you can't get old

and Horus remembered:

I saw her charging the baddies like nothing else in the World could, I saw her laughing,

I saw her accomplishing, asserting, achieving

I saw her asking,

for information

and more information

from the "official" quarters

as though she didn't know it all

but she liked to give her knowledge

Official backing official vindication

a magical sixth sense
had told her
that women were disempowered

she had to be a pioneer in the art of enquiry and learning

for she knew that she was .. important

and after the second great war in heaven woman was disempowered

a few meaningless gestures were left

for the sake of appearance and decorum

but she was an exception to all that sham

she would speak with authority

and would never get old or weak

The guide for the perplexed

teacher fighter counselor guide

soldier sailor general

tutor maker creator

hammer clamour expert chide

and always magician brings it off

and always wins

wins the game

the game of chess

and then she lay shriveled and afraid on that sofa of thorns

neglect, denial, rejection staring her in the face

on that sunny afternoon

when she asked ....



"Physician heal thyself"
doctors never get ill


Isis, great Isis
can you face your fear?
can you resolve this fear for I can't

primal mother

mother yourself

calm this crying

please

she asked about getting old

and no one answered

the all-powerful was now asking

about weakness!

the subtle mounting rejection that pursues the weak was overtaking her

mercilessly

and no one answered

who will answer?

who can make their voice heard?

so far up or so far down?

how can any one imagine

how vulnerable

the invulnerable are?

and I Horus cried

at her door

I loved her so and hated her

how can she smite us all with that ocean of inexplicable weakness

how I resented
the lying centuries of feigned omnipotence the centuries of
unquestioning worship

the energies squandered


on paper thin delusions

collapsing like dominoes

I loved her so

but she had erected

all imaginable forms of .. BARRICADE !

she WAS so powerful !

in her feigned omnipotence

she had made herself .. UNTOUCHABLE !

A fortress of FORTITUDE


IMPREGNABLE


she would never open the door

and even I the great Horus sensed the anxiety gnawing at my liver:
when the crunch comes
I shall be powerless to help her


perhaps I the great Horus was too ignorant

too arrogant

too weak too meek

"voie unique sans issue"

and then I hated her

because I loved her so and could not love

she was the destruction of all male arrogance and make-believe
her lessons to mankind were electrifying

and the son wept:

how it hurt that I could only

look at her pain ...
watch her shrivel and die

and know ..

just know ..

consciousness without power

is this heaven or hell?

is it wisdom? is it fear?

or arrested maturation?

why then this penetrating consciousness?

                     something arrested in the flowering of this universe


from the great egg at Hermopolis

a wrong turning somewhere?


who will ever tell?


(Contemplation)


when they had finally watched her shrivel and slowly die
they called her THE GREAT VIRGIN MOTHER
and they smothered her in reverence

and the great virgin HAD to be impregnable..


Oh primordial Isis all is exposed now

will you still make all lovers impotent

for to protect your delusions .... our delusions

of propriety? of form?


has anyone of these millions smothering you in worship
imagined how lonely the revered icons are? how cold it is up there?

who will dare fly high enough to share their joy or dive deep enough to assuage their pain?


must the great and mighty be shrouded in unattainability?

.... to cover up their need?

what curse has made necessity of all this pretense?

a curse has taught us to despise and trample what we attain


since your struggle for power with Ra
you, the supreme, were whisked out of circulation
It had to be so,even you agreed at first
the supreme virgin mother of all things balsam healer for all wounds, untouchable!
the price for challenging Raa is to be made untouchable
through a thousand and one iron-clad ploys and toys
and you affirmed this terrible twist

we are trained: whatever makes itself vulnerable to us we trample and destroy

for to drool over and worship the unattainable, the distant and the hard

familiarity breeds contempt we teach


we should have taught familiarity breeds respect! familiarity is midwife to loving

how much did the Gods suffer then

on the mount of Olympus?

chosen home or forced exile?


pearls must not be thrown to the swine?
but pearls die slowly in their velvet lined boxes

and how about the true seekers

the seekers with a heart

must all, suffer this curse and be deprived and starved?

what curious formula

suffers the greatest things in life to be untouchable?

and how we pay

the untouchables and those who yearn to touch

"more than the calf yearns to suck does the cow yearn to suckle"

but to yearn is weak both ways

and it was decreed .. weakness takes you to the accursed land beyond where Osiris entombed cries for help

Once upon a time the story goes


He did


offer himself to the swine

and was mauled and torn apart

and

She did

offer herself to the swine

and was mauled stoned and torn apart


did they build a symphony of new values? risking all, giving all?

did they set an example?


a new framework of understanding?

or did they condemn and terrorise the whole race?

and seed the birth of institutions

to affirm the condemnation damnation

to justify the terror?

the end of history dawns and no one as yet knows

which is the more terrible Golgotha

to give and be vulnerable

or to refrain and stay immune?

and in our confusion

we have busied ourselves

inventing ingenious punishments

for both postures

for both sexes

(Requiem for a powerful woman)



much loved one

will you still pay the ultimate price

for this spastic rejection of all weakness

will you still meet all others

in attack formation

on the battlefield

even in your hour of need?

.. still ?


still?


and weigh me, loved one

victim tyrant,

with the guilt of doing battle

with a dying woman?


(ode)

oh immortal beloved

most beloved

how well you laid the trap

consciously

unconsciously

but it was laid so well

you WERE so powerful

overpowering even in your hour of need

and the damage was done

and what has been done can not be undone with tears or surgery

"the finger writes... "

once before the fatal rendez-vous

at the battlefield


we heard the echo vibrating through our bones

let me love you! .....again....

love me

and let me love you..... ....again.....

t'is the resolution of this pain and ridiculous stand off

love and let love ... again .. between equals

unprotected

truly vulnerable

t'is the answer to this call

admit to one inch of vulnerability!

I can't let you in!

I can't let you in!

I can't let you in!

I can't let you in!

I can't let you in!

I can't let you in!

I can't let you in!

not now! not ever! never ! it was decreed!

why this cruel proximity then?

why has nature decreed this intractable proximity then?



(contemplation 2)


can you FORCE someone to be loved

... how hard?

can you force someone in need of love to be loved ..

to be loved?

the need for love so overwhelming

overwhelms the sufferer into refusal of all preludes

where are the limits between loving and hurting?

between rape and sexuality

between deviance and normality

between incest, taboo and bestiality

this fog makes cowards of us all

or rapists

or automatons programmed

or cold vessels steeped in frigidity and custom

Oh for a potion that will bring forth the innermost reality?

a potion to bridge this calamity of normality

a potion to animate all dreams and fantasy

into tongue muscle bone and sinew

for to vibrate mother earth Isis anew

into the immortal dance of creation

and all vow a sacred pact inviolate


vulnerability is strength
vulnerability is the highest form of love
let them be forever banished from our midst


all that will not take this vow
and can not but abuse vulnerability.....


…………………….

the great fearless convulsed in terror

I can't let you in !

not now! not ever! never!

it was decreed

this was decreed ......

why?

W H Y ? ? ?

.. by a blind man ....

.. in a rage ...

.. by an old man ..

.. in a panic ..

it was decreed ...

during the fatal battle of the Patriarchs


. by a frightened woman ..

in a guilt-ridden trance

it was decreed ...

.. by a scheming woman ..

at a glance

by a dead man

it was decreed


it

was

decreed

.....................

.....................

.....................


(Act the next the tragedy overtakes)

and there was no alternative left to you

but to thrash the whole world

obsessively ..

as punishment for intimations of tough tough mortality !
.............................

.........................

................


it was decreed

that love shall be made powerless

till it loses faith

it was decreed

the inner shall be separated from the outer

for to divide and rule

the yin or the yang never the twain shall meet

for to divide and rule

it was decreed

the blind shall lead the blind

and the divided shall lead the divided

into make-believe wholeness ...

and love shall be made powerless

until it looses faith


IT WAS DECREED

p.s. (minor coda episode)

and at the scene of the crime

detectives found a scribbled note:

Urgent to all concerned and to all (faded)

let it be known and beware (faded)

for I have discovered this document

before I was dried (faded)

it is of (faded) (faded)

(signature: P…… faded incomprehensible)

it is part of an action plan

it is old (faded)

perhaps as old as (faded) (faded)

by order of (unclear)

it was decreed that a dead man's head

shall be sewn onto a frightened woman's body

and that this unnatural thing shall rule instead of the paired Gods and Goddesses of old

it was decreed and agreed

after a terrible fight (faded) and the final treaty of (faded) (faded)

that this agreed unna…….(faded) artifice made all-power..... compromise of (faded)

shall take male gender to the outside world (faded)

and (faded) and shall wear male clothes and rule over (faded)

it is agreed to disguise the (faded) (faded) (faded) (faded)

and rule

and rule

and decide the mind set

of all living things and rule

and rule

(faded) (faded)


faded) (faded) (faded)

even Isis (faded) acquiesced and signed(faded)

thus said the note

and naturally no one believed the macabre nonesense

sounded like a Frankenstein story or a Nosferato fantasy

and it was naturally relegated to the rubbish bin


but I Horus know the full content of this vital note scribbled by Maat the Goddess of truth and justice in her death throes as they dragged her to perpetual imprisonment in the dread underworld together with Osiris.

at every sunrise and sun set
my tears tell the tale and decipher the script but fall on a deaf world
but hark one day the Sun shall not rise
as even the deaf shall be forced to lament and mourn the demise of the primeval mother